Why Friendship Takes Time And That’s Okay
- Jade Drive International Pre-school
- Mar 4
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 9
Friendships are an important part of childhood, but for many preschoolers, making friends doesn’t happen overnight.
As a parent, you might wonder why your child isn’t forming friendships as quickly as others. The good news is that social skills develop over time, and every child progresses at their own pace. In this post, we’ll explore why friendship takes time, what this means for parents, and how you can support your child’s social development without pressure.
Understanding Early Friendships
Unlike adults, young children don’t instantly bond over common interests or shared experiences. Friendship at the preschool stage is more about developing essential social skills like communication, sharing, turn-taking, and understanding emotions. These abilities take time to grow, just like learning to walk or talk.
A Common Concern Among Parents
Many parents worry when they see their child playing alone or struggling to connect with peers. You might ask, “Why isn’t my child making friends?” The truth is that children develop social skills at different speeds, and their readiness for friendships varies. Some children jump into group play right away, while others prefer to observe and take their time. Both approaches are completely normal.
Friendship is a Skill, Not an Instant Connection
Forming friendships requires more than just being around other children. It involves learning social cues, understanding emotions, and building confidence in interactions. Just like developing motor skills or language, social development happens in stages.
The Stages of Early Social Development
Children move through different stages of play before they start forming deep friendships. Understanding these stages can help parents set realistic expectations.
Solitary Play (1 - 2 years) – The child plays alone, exploring the world independently. This is normal for young toddlers and even older children who are still learning social comfort.
Parallel Play (2 - 3 years) – The child plays next to others without direct interaction. This stage helps them become comfortable around peers without the pressure of engagement.
Associative Play (3 - 4 years) – The child starts interacting by sharing materials or talking but may not fully cooperate in play.
Cooperative Play (4+ years) – The child engages in group activities with shared goals, teamwork, and deeper social connections.
A child may spend more time in one stage before moving to another. Pressuring them to “make friends” before they are ready can create anxiety and resistance
Why Rushing Friendship Can Backfire
Many well-meaning parents try to push their children into friendships, arranging playdates, encouraging group activities, or telling them to “go play” with others. However, forcing social interactions can have the opposite effect. When a child feels pressured, they may withdraw or develop social anxiety. Instead, allowing friendships to develop naturally helps children feel secure and confident in their own time.
How Parents Can Support Their Child’s Social Growth
While it’s important not to rush friendships, parents can take proactive steps to create a supportive environment for social development:
⏳🌿 Give your child time and space – Let them warm up to social situations at their own pace.
🤝✨ Model positive social interactions – Children learn by watching adults, so show kindness, sharing, and cooperation in your own relationships.
🌱💛 Encourage but don’t pressure – Introduce social opportunities without forcing engagement.
🎈🤸♂️ Provide unstructured playtime – Free play allows children to develop social skills naturally, without adult intervention or structured activities.
💬❤️ Help them express their feelings – If your child struggles with social interactions, talk about their emotions and help them understand that making friends takes time.
Trust the Process 💛
Friendships in early childhood don’t follow a fixed timeline. Some children form close bonds quickly, while others take longer to find their comfort zone. The best thing you can do is create a nurturing, pressure-free environment where your child feels safe to explore relationships at their own pace.
By trusting the process and supporting your child’s individual journey, you allow them to build meaningful connections in a way that feels natural and comfortable for them.